Join The Breakfast Club
All you need is “a lobotomy and some tights”
John Bender: What do you guys do in your club?
Brian Johnson: In Physics. well we, we, uh, we talk about physics, uh, properties of physics.
Bender: So it’s sort of social. Demented and sad, but social.
Mrs. Johnson: Well get in there and use the time to your advantage.
Brian: Mom, we’re not supposed to study. We just have to sit there and do nothing.
Mrs. Johnson: Well, mister, you figure out a way to study.
Bender: Does Barry Manilow know you raid his wardrobe?
Bender: Screws fall out all the time. The world’s an imperfect place.
Bender: Hey, how come Andrew gets to get up? If he gets up, we’ll all get up. It’ll be anarchy.
Bender: Look, I can see you getting all bunged up for them making you wear these kinds of clothes, but face it, you’re a neo-maxi-zoon-dweebie. What you be doing if you weren’t out making yourself a better citizen?
Carl: You guys think I’m some untouchable peasant, serf, peon, you know. Maybe so, but following a broom around after shitheads like you for the last eight years I’ve learned a couple things. I look through your letters. I look through your lockers. I listen to your conversations. You don’t know that, but I do. I am the eyes and ears of this institution, my friends. By the way, that clock’s twenty minutes fast.
Claire: How do you know where Vernon went?
Bender: I don’t.
Claire: Well then how do you know when he’ll be back?
Bender: I don’t. Being bad feels pretty good, huh?
Brian: I’m failing shop. We had this assignment, you know, to make this, like, ceramic elephant and we had eight weeks to do it. And then, you know, we’re supposed to…it was, like, a lamp. And when, you know, when you pull it, the trunk, the light was supposed to go on. But my light didn’t go on. I got an F on it. I’ve never gotten n F in my life.
Bender: Why’d you think it would be easy?
Brian: Have you seen some of the dopes that take shop?
Bender: I take shop. You must be a fucking idiot.
Brian: I’m a fucking idiot because I can’t make a lamp?
Bender: No, you’re a genius because you can’t make a lamp.
Brian: What do you know about trigonometry?
Bender: I could care less about trigonometry.
Brian: Bender, did you know without trigonometry, there’d be no engineering?
Bender: Without lamps, there’d be no light.
Bender: You know what I got for Christmas this year? It was a banner fucking year at the old Bender family. I got a carton of cigarettes. The old man grabbed me and said, “Hey, smoke up, Johnny.”
Brian: I’m here because Mr. Ryan found a gun in my locker.
Andrew: Why’d you have a gun in your locker?
Brian: I tried. When you pull the fucking trunk on it, the light’s supposed to go on.
Andrew: What’s the gun for Brian?
Brian: I can’t have an F. I can’t have it. I know my parents can’t have it.
Claire: Killing yourself is not an option.
Brian: Well I didn’t do it did I? No, I don’t think so.
Allison: It was a handgun?
Brian: No, it was a flare gun. It went off in my locker. Fucking elephant was destroyed.