Stripes Funny Movie Quotes


“Army Training, Sir!”

Stripes is Bill Murray at his wise guy best.  Harold Ramis, John Candy and John Larroquette make Stripes a classic comedy.

Writing and starring in Stripes, shows just how amazing Harold Ramis was.  Stripes is also one of the most quoted movies of all time.

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Stripes Army RecruiterArmy Recruiter: Have you ever been convicted of a felony or a misdemeanor?

John and RussellJohn Winger: Convicted?  No.

Russell Ziskey: Never convicted.

Recruiter QuestionsRecruiter: Are either of you homosexual?

Winger: You mean, like, flaming or…?

Recruiter: Well, it’s a standard question we have to ask.

Russell is willing to learnRussell: No, we’re not homosexual, but we are willing to learn.

Someplace specialWinger: Yeah, would they send us some place special?

Movie on this flightDewey Oxberger: Excuse me, stewardess.  Is there a movie on this flight?

Mess HallOx: I hope this is the Mess Hall.  How’s it going Eisenhower?

Lighten up FrancisSgt. Hulka: Lighten up, Francis.

A lot of pizzaDewey OxOx: My name’s Dewey Oxberger.  My friends call me Ox.  You might’ve noticed I’ve got a slight weight problem.  I went to this doctor.  Well, he told me I swallowed a lot of aggression…along with a lot of pizzas.

Lean mean fighting machineOx: I’m going to walk out of here a lean, mean, fighting machine.

Never hit anyoneRussell:  When I was a kid my father told me never to hit anyone in anger, unless you’re absolutely sure you can get away with it.

YMCAOx: Well sir, we were going to bingo parlor, at the YMCA, well, one thing lead to another and the instructions got all fouled up there and we ended up…

Capital AWinger: We’re all very different people.  We’re not Watusi.  We’re not Spartans.  We’re Americans with a capital “A”, huh?  You know what that means?  Do you?  That means that our forefathers were kicked out of every decent country in the world.

Old YellerWinger: Who saw “Old Yeller”?  Who cried when Old Yeller got shot at the end?  Nobody cried when Old Yeller got shot?  I’m sure.  I cried my eyes out.Cried

Stupid to enlistWinger: So we’re all dogfaces.  We’re all very, very different.  But there is one thing that we all have in common.  We were all stupid enough to enlist in the army.

Ten and oneWinger: There’s something wrong with us, something very, very, wrong with us.  Something seriously wrong with us.  We’re soldiers, but we’re American soldiers.  We’ve been kicking ass for 200 years!  We’re ten and one!

BetterWinger: Platoon, just like last night, only better!

BunkOx: We’re in Italy.  The guy on the top bunk has got to make the guy on the bottom bunk, he’s gotta make his bed all the time.  See, it’s in the regulations.  If we were in Germany, I would have to make yours.  But we’re in Italy, so you’ve gotta make mine.  It’s regulations.

Winger: Take them up in the Alps for a little spin.

Russell: No.

OKAlpsWinger: Oh yeah.

Russell: No, no, no, no.

Winger: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Russell: No, John.  No.

Winger: I’ll drive.

Russell: OK.

Where's my truckCaptain Stillman: Where’s the EM50?

MP: A couple of soldiers took it to get it washed.

CzechWinger: Come on, it’s Czechoslovakia.  We zip in, we pick ’em up and we zip right out again.  We’re not going to Moscow.  It’s Czechoslovakia.  It’s like going into Wisconsin.

WisconsinRussell: Well, I got the shit kicked out of me in Wisconsin once.  Forget it.

What an idiotRussell: What an idiot.

What have we gotWinger: I’ve got it figured this way.  They got one big gun, they got a couple tanks.  They got a hundred Baryshnikovs running around in itchy woolen outfits.

Russell: And what do we got?

Winger: We’ve got one heavily armored recreational vehicle here, man.

We had a car waitingWinger: We had a car waiting.

Surprise PartyWinger: What the…a surprise party?  I’ll kill ya.  Who’s idea was this?  Alright, everybody’s coming to my place.  This is ridiculous.


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The Stripes cast also included Warren Oates, Sean Young and Joe Flaherty.